


When You Wish Upon A Star Make Sure It's Not Actually A Helicopter

by Solembum



Series: The Pier [4]
Category: DCU (Comics), Justice League - All Media Types, Young Justice (Cartoon), Young Justice - All Media Types
Genre: Another high school fic, Bruce being Bruce, Child Abandonment, Child Abuse, Daddy Issues, Emotional Abuse, F/F, F/M, Gay dads, M/M, Physical Abuse, because i forget college exists i guess, but whats new, conner's a twat, dick kinda lives up to his namesake once or twice, flagrant disregard for the justice system, flagrant use of disney, i'm sorry to have to even put that tag in my fic, lex luthor is a dick, more tags to come, not sorry enough i suppose, prolly because i never wanna think about it again, there i said it, there's no other way around it, this is your only warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-01-23 20:35:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21326290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Solembum/pseuds/Solembum
Summary: Conner is used to being the new kid. Hell, he's been the new kid nearly 20 times in his life the shit was played out in his opinion until now. Now he's not just a new kid, he's the new kid of Gotham High's beloved teacher. A man who's responsible for half his DNA and Conner didn't even know his name until six months ago.Or, Conner Kent has just been enrolled at Gotham eye under the new guardianship of his biological father Clark and his husband Bruce. He's a rude belligerent little shit who's just waiting for the other shoe to fall onto his head all while trying to outsmart the adults in his life (or at least Clark) finish school (C's get degrees) and ignore this one guy who seems to be everywhere (at least he's cute)
Relationships: Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent/Lex Luthor, Dick Grayson/Koriand'r, Garfield Logan/Raven, Kaldur'ahm/Kon-El | Conner Kent
Series: The Pier [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/907311
Comments: 1
Kudos: 24





	1. Not-So First Day

Conner had gone through a lot of First Days in his lifetime. First Day in preschool, kindergarten, then first day of grade school. First day of summer vacation, first day of summer camp, first day waking up with a splint, first day walking with a cast, first day at his second grade school, then his third. First day of middle school and then the second after that. Honestly the novelty of it all wore off real quick. And it was definitely no different just because Gotham High looked like a bootleg version of Hogwarts but still held the same stale air of condescension. Conner fiddled with his ring on his right pointer finger and wondered just how long it would take Clark to figure out he ditched. A better question would be how long would it take Bruce to find him; that guy was definitely some sort of spook. No one that moved like him could be just some rich ass businessman. He of all people should definitely know. 

“Oh hey! Conner! Conner Kent right?!” he twitched as his name was called out and followed the sound coming from a younger student wearing a beanie. He was beaming as if he was actually glad to see him (the actual fuckery) and seemed to be hopping in place either from speed or coffee. Though looking at just how pleased the kid was, Conner placed his bets on both.

“Yeah? How do you know me?” If it were possible, the kid’s grin widened. “Dude, 

knows who you are! You should totally see the Twitter page, you’re like, a hashtag and everything!” 

Conner’s eyebrow twitched. “I’m a what?” 

“A hashtag? You know, like, that you’re trending? C’mon you can’t not know what I’m saying!” the unknown boy’s grin was faltering and his voice seemed to be cracking from both puberty and confusion which was seriously starting to grate on Conner’s nerves. Among other things.

“I have no idea what you’re saying and to be honest, I kinda don’t care. Just show me where the office is and explain to me why the hell ‘everyone’ knows me.”

The other teen, who unfortunately did not seem troubled by Conner’s gruff and dismissive tone and in fact brightened at the prospect of more talking, hurriedly agreed and began leading the two into the doors and through the crowded hallways. 

“Well first of all, we don’t get a whole lot of transfers here, especially in the middle of year y’know? But I guess, it’s not technically the middle of the year yet since the second month of school literally just started buuut you get what I mean.” Conner didn’t respond and he wouldn’t even if he had known what he meant as their turned a somewhat random corner. “But then you’re a new transfer 

you’re related to Mr. Kent who’s like! The most favorite teacher here of nearly all time. Literally everyone has tried getting into his classes or the journalism club which is like, one of the top clubs because of all it’s top of the line gear and sponsors and stuff which is to be expected considering the guy actually worked for a national newspaper-which I guess you kinda already knew since you’re related, whoops! But also because like, his wife is still working there and I guess she feels bad she can’t come visit more often-”

“Wait, who’s wife?” Conner interrupted as their turned yet another corner and now going up a short flight of stairs. 

“Mr. Kent’s! He’s married to Lois Lane from the Daily Planet. Or at least I think, we think, he is. You didn’t know that?!” the other teen looked up at him flabbergasted while he just snorted.

“Clark’s married to Bruce Wayne.” Conner stated plainly which was apparently the only thing capable of leaving his guide speechless. That is until he started giggling uncontrollably and had to even lean against the wall to keep himself upright. 

“Oh-oh-ohmygod Conner! You-you’re hilarious! Mr. Kent married to B-Bru-Bruce Wayne! You totally share his sense of humor. I can’t wait to tell Vic that one. Ohman, that might even make Raven laugh that’s-that’s awesome! Thanks for that!” he finally gathered his bearings after wiping away a stray tear and continuing their trek. 

“‘Raven’?” Conner couldn’t help parroting with a slight smirk. At least that didn’t seem to change wherever he went, there was always that One Kid. Usually it was him but it’d be nice to hand the moniker off to someone else for a change. Unfortunately, his guide didn’t seem to share his sentiment judging from the goofy look and pinkening face and ears. 

“Ye-yeah! My girlfriend, she helps runs the poetry " (‘_You don’t say,’_ Conner couldn’t help but think) "and is the treasurer of the wrestling club. We got tickets to last years WWE cage match because of her, she’s the greatest.” he praised easily. As much as Conner wanted to talk shit about some girl named Raven who was supposedly into poetry and fake MMA, he found he couldn’t do it in front of the guy who seemed completely hung up on her. Maybe he’d wait and just say it behind his back like a normal person. Totally not because he’d feel bad. 

“Well! Here we are, the front office. Or as their say in France, uh….front office. Man that’s totally weak.” he frowned slightly before brightening back up. “I’ll leave you in Delores’ great care from here on. Oh! And I’m Gar by the way! If I didn’t say so before! If you’re available, you should totally join me and my friends for lunch! We usually sit outside near the drama department!” Gar offered, after graciously bowing to the unimpressed older woman sitting behind her desk, gave a final grin and wave to Conner before rushing out into the still crowded halls. Conner didn’t say anything but he hoped his unimpressed face said it all as he turned his attention back to the secretary. 

“Mr. Kent, I presume?” she asked presumptuously still in her seat. 

“You may.” he responded crossing his arms. She merely shot him a look and sniffed loudly before looking pointedly at his papers. He considered for a moment being a dick and making her ask for the papers but he didn’t want to be here any longer than necessary so he just complied before throwing himself into one of the waiting chairs.

The monotonous sounds of clacking keyboards and mouse clicks buzzed in his ears while the general ruckus of the student body was muted behind the glass doors. In between loading screens, Conner would glance up to look out through the doors for just a second before returning back to his phone. The secretary tried giving him a few looks and even a slight coughs about his phone usage but he just ignored her.

One of the levels though was taking forever to load (what kind of crummy ass school only has 3G service) so he took to people watching a little longer which is when he spotted a small group of upperclassmen walk by. Conner stared at one who was holding hands with an absolute amazon of a girl with bright red hair because he was so sure he recognized that dumb face. Thankfully the guy didn’t so much as glance in his direction to see him staring but the guy behind him did and made sure to stare back which made for an awkward realization when he finally

He blinked at the piercing light eyes that looked like they were trying to read his mind and unknowingly challenged them to a staring contest. It was only for a few seconds before the secretary called his name again distracting him and causing him to blink and turn in her direction cursing at his loss, childish as it was. He then found out all she wanted was his ID to confirm some bullshit that was probably already in his paperwork. Ge grit his teeth as he complied and all but threw the piece of plastic onto her desk before whipping his head around to see that his competitor was gone along with his familiar looking friend.Conner had no idea why he was so incensed about this but it pissed him off more than he liked to the point that he shoved his phone back into his pocket and continued waiting in silence.

Soon the bell rang signalling the start of the school day and the hallway emptied quickly leaving Conner with nothing to keep his attention any longer. Thankfully though, the old crone finally finished whatever had to be done with his paperwork and after printing him a student ID and school schedule asked him if he would like her to accompany him to his first class. Neither of them looked happy with that prospect so for both their sakes, Conner declined. From his schedule it seemed his first class was World Culture on the third floor so he climbed up the stairs and walked around in a veritable circle until he found the right classroom with the class already in the middle of a powerpoint lecture. Not even bothering to knock, Conner just opened up the door flooding light into the dark room unflinching as twenty or so eyes suddenly turned towards him.

“Um..yes young man?” Conner turned towards the teacher and sighed knowing this was about to be the first of many introductions. 

“Yeah, I’m uh, Conner Kent. I’m the new transfer student.” he answered monotone attempting to not twitch at the rush of whispers that spread across the room ignored by the now flustered teacher. 

“Right! Yes! I think I was informed you would be starting today. Hmm, ah, oh! I think there’s an empty seat besides Mr. West right there so you can take your seat.” he pointed towards a redheaded teen who’s general aura reminded Conner of the blabbermouth from this morning. Oh joy.

Thankfully he supposes, the teacher started back where they left off allowing Conner’s mind to happily wander as he propped his chin on a palm and watched the lecture with disinterest. Out the corner of his eye he could see other students still either taking what he supposed were subtle looks at him while others were just outright gawking. He wasn’t that much to look at any other day and he made sure to double down it today; plain black shirt and faded jeans, that’s it. It wasn’t like he had extraordinary features either, though maybe it was the shocking resemblance he had to their beloved teacher that had them staring. He knew he had stared at Clark for a while too once he finally met the man. 

Soon enough, the bell rang signalling that students should get to their homerooms which, after consulting his schedule once more, Conner found to be in some biology lab. Despite the crowded hallways and still gawking teens, he managed to be one of the firsts in the room besides the teacher. Already seated at a lab table was his competitor from the morning along with the redhead from his class. Which it shouldn’t be since, he hadn’t even seen the guy move when the bell rang, nor had he seen him in the hallway...eh whatever.

He took a seat in one of the rows of desks in front of the lab table disgruntled at feeling disappointed the other hadn’t looked his way yet. The bell rang again signalling a herd of students to rush into the room and into their seats else they be counted late and for the professor to stand from her position behind her desk causing Conner to do a double take. Hourglass figure, shapely legs, her red hair was pulled back into one ponytail which lazily grazed her shoulder and her green eyes seemed to shine behind her large round metal frames. If this was how he started every day, Conner wouldn’t complain too much about being stuck here after all. 

“Holy shit it is you.”

Then again, maybe he spoke too soon.

Conner turned towards the source and found it to be that same familiar looking guy from before who was looking at him with a mix of disgust and surprise. It’d sting worse if he probably wasn’t use to those looks from someone else. Then suddenly, it hit him exactly where and why this prick looked so familiar and a smirk curled across his lips.

“Well hello to you too,


	2. I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conner is a dick but that's not exactly new

It really shouldn’t surprise him that Dick was also in the same school since of fucking course he would be. Bruce put the weird in billionare but he wasn’t likely to put his kids in fancy schmancy private schools unless they asked. Which again lead Conner to being slightly surprised that Dick “I Can Do Everything Perfectly Perfect” Wayne at a shitty public school. It probably helped stroke his ego being one of the smartest people there, that sounded more likely. 

“What the hell are you doing here?!” Conner rolled his eyes wondering how obtuse could the other teen really be.

“Dunno if you paid any attention to family time lately but dear ole Daddy Dearest won me fair and square and now here I am. I’m hurt Dick, really.” he placed a hand over his wounded heart and even went as far as to pout. 

Dick just scoffed but looked obviously annoyed that he had missed something, a rather large something at that, while he’d been away. 

“Woah woah woah ok! Back up! Rewind! From the beginning! How do you two know each other? And what does Mini Me mean about ‘family time’!?” the redhead (Wally Conner’s treacherous mind provided) perked up looking between the two of them with fascination. 

Conner wondered if it was even worth it to spill the beans but that constipated look on Dick’s face sorta tipped the scales for him. 

“Why Dick, you never told people who your dad’s married to? That seems sorta dishonest don’t you think? And we all know how hung up you are on honesty. It’s like you get a boner from it the way you talk about it.” he knew he was being juvenile but did it stop him? Nope. 

Dick for the most part fell for it though with the bottom portion of his face creeping with red while his friend whined about how keeping secrets between besties was a no-no. This tall ass gargantuan of a teen actually said “no-no.” The longer Conner was in this place, the less any sense was made.

“Don’t worry Dickie, I’ll help you out just this once.” he made sure to even throw in an eye wink to really drive home how much of a shit he was being. 

“You see Wilson,”

“Wally.”

“Wallace, Dick’s dad decided he was going to make an honest man out of my old man and tied the knot, making us stepbrothers of a kind.” Wally’s eyes bugged out because he had thirty different confirmations in just one simple statement. 

“But then...I definitely would’ve met you before! I was at the wedding! I knocked over a punch bowl and everything you had to’ve been there!” he desperately wheedled. Conner just rolled his eyes and unconsciously rolled his shoulder hiding it with a shrug. He knew intellectually wasn’t still store but the reminder of that date was still imprinted on his skin in the worst possible way.

“I was busy for a while. That’s why I’m starting here late.” Then the other teen’s words sunk in causing Conner to turn back towards Dick who had been steadily getting redder in the face.

“Wait, if Wilbur over here”

“Wally!”

“was actually at the wedding, how come some weird kid thought it was hilarious when I mentioned them actually being married?” 

The redhead snorted and decided to answer for his friend who was still rebooting himself. “That’s actually a funny story, when they started dating the tabloids and the newspapers were all over them but like, because Mr. Wayne had been with like a bunch of women they just thought that Mr. Wayne was just showing Mr. Kent a good time or whatever and showing him the club scene. Then it turned into Mr. Wayne was throwing Mr. Kent a bachelor party because another paper mentioned he was always with some female reporter and one day she was spotting like a gigantic diamond ring and he was all smiles. So  _ then _ -”

“Got it. Stupid reporters, misinformation, apathy in regards to the truth. You can stop talking now the slush that was once my brain will thank you.” Conner interrupted snidely rubbing at his temples. He hadn’t been kidding about the brain thing, he could practically feel it sloshing around in there causing it to ache. 

Wally pouted at getting interrupted at what he considered the good part of the story but couldn’t really argue since Conner was technically right, but Dick didn’t have such reservations.

“You’d know all about that wouldn’t you? ‘Apathy in regards to the truth,’ sounds like something you’re really good at.” Conner regarded the other boy with a cool look.

“What are you grumping about now? Leotard on too tight?” he sneered. Dick unfortunately didn’t rise to the bait again but before he could further explain a soft cough broke through causing them all to turn towards the teen sitting behind them. 

“If you’re done exchanging penis sizes, Dr. Isley called you to her desk three minutes ago and she doesn’t enjoy waiting.” Conner only knew it was about him because his sharp eyes (blue he was finally able to recognize) were poised in his direction. He huffed but got up just as the PA system crackled to life and began running through the normal morning procedures. Approaching the teacher’s desk he could clearly see the annoyance etched on her beautiful face that showed his classmate (he really needed to get that guy’s name) had been correct. 

“Thank you for taking time from your certainly rousing discussion to finally meet with me Mr. Kent.” she drawled. Unfortunately for her, Conner was used to much worse levels of passive aggressiveness that her form barely scratched the first layer so all her words caused him to do was blink slowly and resist the childish urge to yawn dramatically. “There’s a few ground rules I would like to go over with you as you are joining after the start of term. This is a higher level Biology classroom with expensive equipment and integral experiments not just to students but to myself. I will not tolerate any horseplay or purposeful disruption or destruction of this property and if I see or suspect you of any wrong doings you will not only be sent to the office but also banished from this class. You are only given one warning for anything as I detest repeating myself. 

No food or drink is allowed in the lab; I don’t allow it from my students so I will also not allow it from this group. During this time unless other announcements need to be made, I ask that you use it to complete or start on home or classwork, read, or converse  _ quietly _ amongst yourselves. Please keep yourself confined mostly to your own seat and in regards to bathroom or water breaks, you need only ask for the pass and leave. I don’t see the point in asking for a basic human necessity. Any questions?” Dr. Isley kept her eyes locked on Conner’s throughout her entire spiel never allowing a muscle twitch out of place and honestly? Slightly creepy. 

“No ma’am.” he figured being polite was the only way out of this. It seemed to have worked as she actually quirked an eyebrow and smirked at his tone as if she could read his thoughts. 

“You may return to your seat Mr. Kent. The bell is about to ring at any moment now.”

Conner nodded disjointedly before going back to his seat spotting Dick and his friend talking between the two in hushed voices and the boy with the electrifying eyes now trained on pages of a book. He craned his head a bit to look at the cover but only coming away with a tiger’s face. 

“Has something of mine piqued your curiosity?” He started not expecting him to call him out so boldly so he didn’t have much time to figure a strong response. 

“You talk like Dr. Isley.” he blurted and much to his mortification could feel the back of his neck redden. The teen didn’t seem to notice his reaction but still his smirk widened at the comparison. 

“Being likened to a renowned botanist and biological specialist isn’t exactly the worst thing to happen to me.” Conner snorted at tone; while earnest also had a sarcastic edge to it which he could respect. Among other things. 

“So what’s the name of your book?” A few beats later. “And yours too, if we’re being cordial.” 

The teen huffed <strike>in amusement?</strike> as he slid a bookmark between the pages and closed his book. “I wouldn’t think you knew the meaning of the word with your obvious distaste towards Dick.” This time it was Conner that huffed.

“Richard can cool his nonexistent tits because as far as I’m concerned, that  _ was _ me be cordial.” He stared pointedly at the book cover, who’s name was being covered on purpose he was sure of it, by the <strike>still amused</strike> teen.

“Zoo. Kaldur.” Conner blinks.

“Why in the hell would you read a book about zoos?” Kaldur (fucking finally!) sighs as if disappointed in his train of thought. 

“I’d tell you more but the bell is going to ring in a few seconds.”

Conner was about to say that this was a very poor excuse when the bell did in fact ring. Kaldur didn’t move an inch though so he figured he might be waiting for him to make the first move. Gladly. “Well you don’t seem to be in a hurry, so why should I be?” 

Again, the  _ I’m truly disappointed with how slow you can be _ look returns. “I’m not. Considering this is my next class. And my actual seat. I’m afraid I can’t say the same for you.” 

Conner really wants to ask why that is but finally his brain stutters back to life as he remembers Dr. Isley’s earlier warnings and mentions about her classroom and even with the best tutors money can buy (which he’s had at some point), he’s hopelessly awful at all things science related. So he does the only real mature thing which is to grab his schedule out his pocket, realize his next class is actually a full floor below them, then grab his stuff and books-in a strictly leisurely way he assure you-it out the classroom. He’s also pretty sure he heard some snickering but that could’ve just as easily been the teacher. 

The rest of the school day was rather boring compared to his first few hours. Most students in his class either stared at him, whispered about him, stared and whispered at him, or actually tried to speak to him. The latter group was split into actually attempting to get to know him because he was new and attempting to get to know him because he was new, looked like Mr. Kent, shared his last name, and was handsome. They didn’t actually say the last one but Conner wasn’t born yesterday, he knew what some of their hooded gazes meant and honestly, it made him wish he had a hoodie to hide under. Lunch he spent walking around mentally taking in the optimal hiding spots for the remaining <strike>weeks</strike> time he’d be at this school. He stopped doing the cafeteria sometime around second grade; there was little fun in being the lonely kid at a table. He’d doubt he’d get that same experience here without some major effort so he just avoided it all together. The afternoon seemed to drag a bit leaving him to skip out on his last class and start his trek to Anywhere Else-ville. He made it about six blocks with a smoothie as a souvenir of his outing before Bruce’s signature black car was parked outside the shop with it’s owner standing outside it. 

“I didn’t get you anything” Conner took a deliberate sip of his drink to prove his point and was annoyed that this did nothing to the blank slate that was the older man’s face. 

“I’m more surprised you lasted most of the day before bailing than you actually considering me in sharing in your habit.” 

The teen scoffed. “Just because your powdered stuff tastes like the tears of the undead doesn’t make it healthier than mine.” This actually got a brief look of amusement across Bruce’s face before it was back to blankness. There really wasn’t a point to fighting since both knew who would really win which just left Conner rolling his eyes at Bruce’s gruff “don’t spill that thing” as he slid into the car. 

“You’re really putting merit into the rumor that you place bugs on people.” he couldn’t help but point out as they started their silent journey. He didn’t receive a response, as per usual, and just sighed as he wondered for the perhaps hundredth millionth time what exactly Clark had seen in this guy because he couldn’t.

“Maybe if you didn’t make it so easy you wouldn’t be so paranoid about how I always find you.” Conner scowled at the rare quip from the man. He really  _ really  _ couldn’t see it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy new year?

**Author's Note:**

> hey sooo  
this is my fic. idk if this is a rare pair or not but judging from how long it took to find the freaking tag it's very close. hope you enjoy it.......thatisall  
also to those who are curious, no i'm not sure if i'll finish the xmen fic and yes i'm still grieving from Endgame so idk if i'll finish the text one either. i am but a dung-beetle trudging her way across the wilderness


End file.
